Many things wouldn't work in an office, here's proof:
1. Wearing pajamas all day. -- "I know there's a dress code, but these Paul Frank flannels pants are so darn comfy."
2. Breastfeeding -- "Joan, you look hungry. Are you sure you don't just want to suckle at …? No? Well, if you change your mind."
3. Stopping work to do laundry. -- "Tony, Jeff, Kate, Tom, Leslie, Bill, Joe, Jose, Sara, Amy, Beth, Stacey … anyone have anything that can go in on hot, I'm doing whites?"
4. Taking business calls while locked in the bathroom. -- "Excuse me Samantha could you refrain from flushing, I'm on a conference call. Great, thanks."
5. Constantly shushing the people around you. --"Seriously guys, I'm trying to workout our quarterly gains and I can't hear myself think! Can you use your inside voices?"
6. Telling your coworkers they've had too much candy, fried food, or caffeine for the day. -- "Sorry, that was the last cup of coffee you can have Bob, you'll be up all night."
7. Going braless or pantless, or both. -- "Well this is awkward."
8. Taking a break to clean and kiss a coworkers boo boo. -- "Oh Phil you really stubbed that toe hard, huh? Let me kiss it make it better? Phil? Where are you going?"
9. Running the Nickelodeon channel in the background. -- "Whoooooooo lives in a pineapple under the sea? Come on, everybody join in?"
10. Inviting other people's kids to your office to occupy your co-workers. -- "Guys you seem kinda restless, so I thought I'd bring in a bunch of seven-year-olds to keep you busy."
11. Tripping over Legos, Barbies, trucks … (unless you work at FAO Schwartz - then it's an occupational hazard) -- "Joanne, Hank, Bea, how many times have I told you to put your stuff away?"
12. Finding a cat lying on your keyboard. -- "Well, that's weird, this cat was not here this morning."
13. Negotiating you computer screen time with co-workers who would like to use it for Club Penguin. -- "Just 10 more minutes and I need it back. Yes, you can get a Puffle, hurry."
14. Walking around straightening everyone's desks and offices. -- "Seriously, you keep this place like a pigsty! How many times have I told you to take your dirty glasses to the sink? What are you doing an experiment in here?"
15. Making everyone in the office an afternoon snack. -- "Guys, I think we could all use a little protein and an afternoon pick me up! What say I whip together some crackers with peanut butter, maybe a smoothie, some fruit with a little sugar on top - just a little though."
16. Trying to solve issues with the boss, by suggesting a fun make believe game. -- "You seem upset that I botched the deal, I have such a good idea though, let's play Princesses! I'll be the Prince and you be the beautiful stepdaughter who is really a Princess, but doesn't know it because her evil stepmother has kept her locked in the castle. OK?"
Well, I guess it's a good thing WAHMs don't work in an office, because clearly it could get pretty weird.
Speaking of insanity, this summer, I'm reliving my youth - by going back to camp (Sleepaway camp! at Camp Lenox in the Berkshires of Massachusetts). It should be hilarious... or I'll get eaten by a bear. Check out "#JennyFromTheBunk - I Followed My Kids to Camp Now What?" Here: Facebook/IloveJennyFromTheBlog
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