The day has finally arrived: you've decided to adopt a dog and have been given the green light from the shelter to take home your new bestie. The addition of a new pet will cause your mind to buzz with thoughts throughout those first few hours.
We can bet they'll go a little something like this:
1. I can't believe I FINALLY adopted a dog!
2. I should probably Instagram a picture of him immediately.
3. But maybe not until I put his new collar on.
4. I need to remember to attach the poop bags to his leash.
5. He'll be fine riding home in the backseat by himself, right? Or maybe I should try to use the seatbelt?
6. I should get him a seatbelt. I'm going to Google that the second we get home.
7. Stop looking at him while you're driving, he's not going anywhere!
8. But he's super CUTE … maybe I should snap a picture of him in the backseat now for Instagram.
9. Just drive, damnit!
10. Okay, let's make sure he pees the second we get home. Before he gets in the house.
11. But maybe he should sniff around first? Then I can attach the poop bags to his leash.
12. Okay we're here, let me get some water in his dish and …
13. Damnit, he's peeing all over!
14. Okay, we're going to take a walk around the block.
15. …and now he's pooping. Thank god we got outside in time.
16. But where are the poop bags?!
17. I'll just make sure to get this pile as soon as we go outside again. I'll remember which one it is.
18. Maybe his first appearance on social media should be outside! Let me snap a picture right now.
19. Why won't he just sit and look at me? How does every dog on Facebook know to look directly at the camera and smile adorably on cue when my dog looks a little crazy? I'm going to Google that the second we get inside.
20. After I attach the poop bags to the leash.
21. I wonder what he'll want to do today. Maybe I should let him sleep? What do dogs actually do all day?
22.. Let's figure out this crate business first. I know you're supposed to section it off to fit his size but how exactly do I do that?
23. Ok, I'll just crawl in the crate and try to figure it out.
24. It's kind of claustrophobic in here! And I think I'm stuck … I'll just back out, butt first.
25. CRAP. He's peeing again.
26. How many times a day do I need to let him out?
27. I wish I could build a doggy door. I'm going to Google that the second we get inside. They're all the same size, right?
28. After I attach the poop bags to the leash.
29. Okay, the crate is the right size and the bed's in there, too. Maybe he'll just chill out and snooze for a bit?
30. OMG he's so ADORABLE! Now is definitely the time to take a picture of him.
31. But it's hard to see his face when he's curled up like that. Maybe he won't mind if I just snap my fingers or wave a toy around ….
32. And now he's attacking it. And running around the house. I guess naptime is over.
33. If I could just get him to sit still for a picture, that would be perfect.
34. Okay, three hours till he eats again, according to his feeding schedule. I wonder if he's eating the right food. I'm going to Google that.
35. Or maybe I'll ask the vet? Did I remember to book an appointment for him?
36. I'm booking his first appointment right now.
37. I really hope they don't do anything to hurt him, like clip his nails or something.
38. Ugh. I guess I should learn how to do that. Should I have bought nail clippers already? I'm going to Google "nail clippers for dogs" right now.
39. Where'd he go? I thought I dog-proofed the entire house ….
40. Crap. He's gnawing on some shoe laces. It's super cute though, so maybe I'll take a picture for Instagram first, then take them away.
41. But I should probably be firm from the start. I should check my dog parenting book. Where is that thing?
42. Okay, our first dinnertime! I can totally get on board with this.
43. Ugh. Dog food smells horrible. Yet weirdly good. I wonder if anyone's ever tried their dog's food ...
44. Is that all he needs to eat? It looks super small, maybe I'll add a little extra, just in case. He must be super hungry.
45. I'll talk to the vet about his meal size. I should write down a list of questions.
46. That reminds me, I want to get a seat belt for him…
47. Shoot. He's not eating. Did I do it wrong? Why is he just sniffing the food?!
48. Okay, okay, calm down. He just needed a second. He's totally hungry. I probably didn't feed him enough.
49. I wish I asked the shelter exactly how much they were feeding him. Maybe I should just call the vet right now and ask.
50. That's crazy. I'll just ask at the appointment. I also want to ask if I really need to brush his teeth. Because that kind of freaks me out.
51. Walk time! I'm definitely going to get a picture of him sitting nicely on the stairs before we begin.
52. Oh shoot, there's a bird. Maybe he won't se-ARGH!!! OMG he is so strong. Maybe I should get a better collar?
53. But nothing that actually chokes him. Because that would be so mean. But maybe he just needs something that will gently remind him not to pull my arm off? I'm going to Google that.
54. Okay, everyone wants to meet him. He really is the CUTEST DOG EVER. I should start a blog for him.
55. Or at least an Instagram account. We'd get so many followers.
56. Another dog is approaching. Be cool, be cool. Let it come to you. Make sure to ask if it's friendly.
57. They're both wagging their tails. This is great. Or maybe it's not?
58. Okay! They're being friendly. Lots of butt sniffing. He totally has a doggie girlfriend. This is going to be so FUN.
59. Annnd I still didn't attach the poop bags to the leash. Commence to chasing down that nice owner and borrowing a bag.
60. I'm writing myself a reminder on my phone to attach the dang bags to the leash the second we get home.
61. We did it! One walk down, about a million left to go. He's seriously the coolest dog ever.
62. What should I do with him while I make dinner? Is it rude to eat in front of him?
63. It's totally fine, he's got a toy he can play with while I'm eating.
64. Of course he wants me to play, too. I just need like FIVE minutes, pal!
65. Look at that face, though. He's so cute!
66. Now's the time to get that picture.
67. Crap, he just knocked my phone across the room. And hit me in the head with the toy. I'm totally going to have a goose egg on my forehead tomorrow.
68. Okay, finish your dinner and then you can get the pic.
69. And he's on the couch. Are we allowing him on the couch? I said no at first, but he looks so cozy.
70. I should Google whether or not it's okay for them to be on the couch. I think I'm fine with it but only when I'm at home. I wonder if I can ask the vet about that. They know that stuff, right?
71. Poop bags. Attached to leash. Done!
72. OMG he's on his back with his legs in the air. Classic dog pose.
73. If I creep up quietly to take a picture maybe he won't move…
74. Of course, he flipped right over as I was taking the picture. We're going to have to work on that.
75. But at least we have plenty of time to get it right. This is awesome.
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